You did something holy and hard.
The weeks after birth can be beautiful and heavy at the same time. Your body is healing, your sleep is broken, and your heart may feel a hundred things at once. God has not left you, and you do not have to do this alone.
Baby blues, or something more?
Baby blues
Up to 80% of new moms
- Weepy, moody, or overwhelmed
- Starts in the first few days after birth
- Usually passes on its own within about two weeks
- You can still take care of yourself and your baby
Postpartum depression
About 1 in 8 new moms
- Lasts longer than two weeks, or gets worse
- Crying a lot, anger, or feeling hopeless
- Feeling distant from your baby, or doubting you can care for them
- Can begin any time in the first year, and it is treatable
Sources: EvergreenHealth · CDC
Thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby are a medical emergency, not a secret to hide. Call 988 or 1-833-TLC-MAMA now.
The first weeks: practical help
Rest when the baby sleeps.
The dishes can wait. Healing is your job right now.
Say yes to help.
Let people bring meals, hold the baby while you shower, or do a load of laundry.
Eat real food and drink plenty of water.
Keep snacks and a water bottle wherever you feed the baby.
Check in with your doctor or midwife.
Within 3 weeks after birth, and have a full checkup within 12 weeks.
Get feeding help early.
If feeding is very painful, or isn't working after 2 or 3 days, ask for a lactation consultant.
Move gently.
Start with short walks when you feel ready. After a C-section, ask your doctor first.
Don't wait if you feel worse.
If you feel worse instead of better, call your doctor before your appointment.
Bonding can take time.
Loving your baby also looks like changing diapers at 3 a.m. Feelings often follow faithfulness.
Source: NewYork-Presbyterian
What God says to new moms
He comforts you like a mother.
The God who made mothers knows exactly how to comfort one.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.”
He is awake when you are.
At the 3 a.m. feeding, you are not the only one keeping watch. The Lord who keeps you never sleeps.
“He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”
Rest is His idea.
Jesus told His tired disciples to come away and rest. He says the same to you.
“Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”
You are not a bad mom. You are a forgiven one.
You will not mother perfectly. In Christ there is no condemnation, and His mercies are new every morning.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
He gently leads mothers.
Your Shepherd carries the lambs and leads the mothers gently, including you.
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”
Our only comfort
“What is your only comfort in life and in death? That I, with body and soul, both in life and in death, am not my own, but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.”
Heidelberg Catechism, Q&A 1
A verse for how you feel today
Tap how you feel. Read it slowly. Read it again tomorrow.
“He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Faith and help go together
Reformed Christians have always believed that God works through ordinary means. Seeing a doctor, taking needed medicine, or talking with a counselor is not a lack of faith. It is receiving God's care through the people and gifts He provides.
“God, in His ordinary providence, maketh use of means, yet is free to work without, above, and against them, at His pleasure.”Westminster Confession of Faith 5.3
Tell your doctor or midwife if, for two weeks or more, you:
- Feel sad, empty, or anxious most of the day
- Lose interest in things you used to enjoy
- Feel hopeless, worthless, or very guilty
- Cry much more than usual, or feel angry a lot
- Feel distant from your baby, or doubt you can care for them
- Have trouble sleeping or eating, beyond normal pregnancy or newborn changes
Source: CDC
You can simply say: “I haven't felt like myself, and I want to talk about it.”
Where to get help
Crisis or danger
988
Call or text, 24/7. Spanish available. If you are in danger right now, call 911.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
1-833-852-6262
1-833-TLC-MAMA. Call or text, 24/7. Free and confidential, in English and Spanish, for pregnant and new moms.
Postpartum Support International HelpLine
1-800-944-4773
Press 1 for Spanish, 2 for English. Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (English) or text 971-203-7773 (Spanish). A real person calls back. Not a crisis line. They also offer free online support groups, including Spanish groups.
Your doctor or midwife
Ask for a depression screening at your next visit, or call before your appointment if you feel worse. Depression is treatable, and most people get better with treatment.
Your church family
Tell your pastor or a woman you trust. You were never meant to carry this alone (Galatians 6:2).
Warning signs in your body
During pregnancy and for one year after birth, get medical help right away if you have:
Books for this season
Biblical, Christ-centered books we trust.
Postpartum Depression
Hope for a Hard Season
Christine M. Chappell · New Growth Press, 2024
A 24-page minibook by a biblical counselor who walked through it herself. Honest, practical, and full of the gospel.
Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness
Edward T. Welch · New Growth Press
A careful, compassionate guide to depression from one of the most trusted biblical counselors.
Sufficient Hope
Gospel Meditations and Prayers for Moms
Christina Fox · P&R Publishing
Short readings and prayers that point tired moms to Christ, who is enough.
Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full
Atesorando a Cristo cuando tus manos están llenas
Gloria Furman
Gospel encouragement for moms in the busy, tiring years with little ones.
Risen Motherhood
Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments
Emily Jensen & Laura Wifler · Harvest House, 2019
How the gospel speaks to the ordinary, everyday work of being a mom.
Spurgeon's Sorrows
Realistic Hope for Those Who Suffer from Depression
Zack Eswine · Christian Focus
How the great preacher, who battled depression himself, found Christ faithful in the dark.
Moms helping moms
Have you been there? Your words can help a new mom today. And if you know a new mom, here is how to help:
- Organize a meal train for the first few weeks.
- Visit briefly, wash your hands, and hold the baby so she can nap or shower.
- Do a chore without asking: dishes, laundry, trash.
- Ask “How are you?” and not only “How is the baby?”
- Text “Thinking of you, no need to reply.”
- Keep checking on her through the whole first year.
“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Tips from other moms
Note form coming soonTips from other moms will appear here. Be the first to share one.
Every note is read before it is posted, so please don't wait for a reply if you need help today. Call 988 or 1-833-TLC-MAMA.